haayy..it’s been 2 days since I’ve last used the internet..there wasn’t any computer(well..there was but it’s not for internet use)back there in bulacan that’s why I haven’t updated my blog lately..but anyway, I really had fun back there in my hometown(bulacan)..i’ve got a chance to see some of my relatives again whom I wasn’t able to see for a really long time..i guess it’s been already 1 ½ years..my cousins Jeremy, ate ana and kuya mok were there..so are my grand ma and grand pa and my aunties and uncles..and of course my other pamangkins..alex, aj and anakin..we were supposed to go swimming but unfortunately we forgot to bring swimsuits and also, my mom doesn’t want me to get dark again(and anyway..if that happens, my grandpa’s gonna start calling me a “baluga”like he usually does when i was still swimming before..grbe..thnk you lolo ah..)haaayy..syang tlga..but anyway..we ended up shopping instead..we went to sm marilao to buy some things that me and my cousin would be needing for school..i bought some notebook and some yellow pads..and my cousin on the other hand was planning to buy some uniform..so i went with him to look for some..but oh god..unfortunately..there wasn't any available size for him..he was like a 13 year old boy with a body of an..i don't know..don't wanna say anything anymore..bka kng ano pa msabi ko..well..let's just put it this way..he's kinda overweight for his age..he's got a waist of 44 inches..just imagine how hard it were for us to find him a pair of uniform that would fit him..4 saleslady were assisting us..yet..wla pa rin ngyari..we got no choice..we just decided na mgpatahi na lng..it took us more than an hour just to look for that uniform of his..grbe..it was a really unforgettable experience..me,my mom,my tita and my lola just ended up laughing at the whole thing..we were all suggesting that he get on a diet..not because we wanted him to, but because he badly needed it(may lahi pa nman clang diabetes..tsk tsk..)well..after that, we ate some pizza and chicken barbecue then went back home..the next day, kuya mok,ate ana and my pamangkins(aj,alex and anakin)visited us..poor anakin..i think he's got at least 7 "singaws" on his mouth..no idea where he got it..grbe..he can't even swallow his saliva because of it..anyway..since there was nothing to do aside from taking picture with my cousins, my mom decided to buy a bunch(as in a bunch) of food(food tripping as usual) she bought a "bilao" of pancit malabon/palabok,ice cream,pichi-pichi,casava cake,puto and a lot more..grbe..i was on a diet but i really can't resist it..the temptation..the mouth-watering food..the oh so creamy ice cream..haayyy..i ended up eating so much that i can't even manage to breathe..i really love eating..but i've got to stop eating too much..i don't wanna end up looking like a whale..i mean who would want that to happen?! i've to stop this..i've got to lessen my consume of food..i really need to get on a diet..a healthy lifestyle..haayy..sna mkaya ko..so that's it for now..finally i got back home..i missed surfing the net and updating my blog but of course i didn't have any regrets on going to bulacan..i had fun..really..and anyway..i missed them..so much

it's another dormB's day out today..it's the second time this week that we(dormB people) got together..but this time, were gonna watch a movie..as usual..hndi na nman kmi complete..i just hope na even once mging kmpleto nman kmi..haayy..anyway..as i was saying..we were supposed to watch "house of wax"..unfortunately, karen and jopo don't wanna watch horror movies..so me and aphro got no choice..we ended up watching another movie.."sin city"..well..it turned out to be a nice movie..but me and aphro ended up laughing our ass off while we were watching the last part of the movie..because one of the characters in the movie("junior" the ugly,stinky and probably the worst looking character in the movie)looks so much like yoshiki(drummer from the choco band)..benta tlga..and..oh yeah..there was a line in the movie which says "he's dead.he's just too dumb to know it"(reminds us of winstone's dumbness)haha..but seriously..the movie was great..it was a graphic novel turned into a movie..the movie was mostly black and white but some parts of it..actually just a little part of it was colored..but it's a nice movie..it's not an oh so wow and great movie..pero lam niyo yun..it was nice..well..after the movie..we strolled around the mall for a while..ate some donuts..and bought something to drink..and there..that's it..it was really fun..we had a great time..and oh yeah..i stayed at karen's house for a while..grbe laughtrip kami with roshni on the phone..and of course we created our very first dormB friendster account..haha..it's not yet complete, but we already have some pictures and we've filled up some parts of our profile..so there..it's a great day..i had fun with dormB people..i'm gonna f*ck*ng miss them..seriously..i just hope that we're still gonna see each other even when we're already in college..

it's me and champ..yeah..this is one great day i should say..i mean why not? first of all i saw my dormates again(dormB people) whom i was really missing..we haven't seen each other for ages..3 or 4 weeks have passed since we've last seen each other..and finally, i got a chance to see them today..but sad to say..kulang kami as usual..but it's alright..at least i've seen some of them..3 of them(karen,jopo and aphro)..dahil mtagal kmi d nagkita kita, we've talked about so many things..experiences we had for the past weeks, events that occured for the past few days and a lot more..anyway..we got together because we were supposed to watch hale live at rx radio station..we were all so excited to go there(okei..hndi kmi mga fan girl..excited lng..i mean who wouldn't be excited to see hale perform live at rx?!)..me and aphro can't wait to see omnie(we call him plankton..as in plankton of spongebob..he looks so much like him) because we were laughing about his oh so weird and out of this world face a few days ago..grabe..lam mo nman kmi ni aphro..we can't help but insult other people(even strangers)so..when we got there..the first person i saw was plankton..i mean omnie..i can't help but laugh at how he looked like! but since nhihiya ako..i stayed away for a while hnggang sa maubos ang tawa ko..and then we got in the booth..we enjoyed it..they were really great..they sang 6 songs..i think..and there were parts wherein each of them(hale's band members)was interviewed..they were given a chance to answer questions from the audience(from text mssages,emails,etc)..ang galing tlga..we really had a great time..we even had the chance to chat with them after the "concert series"..have them sign our copy of their album..and of course take pictures with the band members..like the picture that you see above for example..it was really fun hanging out with them..they're really nice people..especially champ..he's really approachable..and i could say he's a really nice guy(compared to winstone..dba aphro?)..nhiya nga ako kc he remembered us(me,karen and jopo)..dnt ask why..it's a long story..well that's it..it was a really great day..buti nman..because last week was really very unlucky(naddepress pa rin ako everytime i remember what happened to onl's gig at indo's..malas tlga..stupid rain!)..haayy..oo nga pla..aphro finally got a chance to take a picture with the love of her life(plankton/omnie)..yeah right..benta yun aphro ah..lkas mo tlga mang trip..pero bgay kayo..it's like a match made in hell..haha..and i almost forgot..notice the picture above..i fucking look like a walking siopao right?! i really need to get on a diet..haayy..well..it all ends here..i have nothing more to say..i'm thoughtless..but all i could say is..i'm happy today..really happy..

remember the guy named Winstone (band guitarist) that I talked about a few days ago? the guy that we(aphro,me and my other friends)called dumb?well..you’re about to see him now..right here in this very picture..he’s the guy in the middle..he’s dumb..i mean DUMB..as in this dumb-> “I’m so dumb that I don’t even know what dumb means” he’s barok, he’s jologs, he’s gay(with the gayish punch..you know what winstone..it was a really bad idea..it made you look even more pathetic!)and most of all he’s bulok!..bsta lahat na ng masagwa sa mundo..and that’s the reason why we hate him so much..well..at first aphro and melai thought that he was a fine guy..even I was deceived..I mean who would have thought that he’s that worst?cause if you look at him, he looks as if he’s a good-natured, respectful, quiet, educated man or..a well-rounded person..yeah right..but like what they said..nothing’s what it seems..all the while we thought that he was a great guy until we got a chance to chat with him at indo’s on a “normal” wednesday night..why the heck did I say it was normal?Well, it used to be normal until we had a short conversation with him..anyway..as I was saying..everything was okei at the start of our conversation but that was only for a short while..after a moment or so, the conversation got worst..the whole thing became so pathetic..it was so pathetic that I can’t help myself from laughing at the whole thing when we got home(specially his dumbness..the dumb look on his face “blink blink” i can't forget that and of course..his oh so gayish pathetic punch)and to make things worst.. “nandto ba kyo last wek?” oh my gosh!I can’t believe he said that!what the heck was that?!shit! that was really so fucking stupid of him!but it’s a good thing that I didn’t hear it because if I did, I would end up laughing my ass off the whole time he was sitting at our table..haayy..grabe..ayoko na nga..bka ma-karma na ako sa panlalait ko..ilang araw na ako nanglalait ng mga tao..but I can’t help it..he’s just too pathetic!well..anyway..i felt quite guilty when I saw the “disappointed look on his face” when we told him that we were there to watch hale’s performance..but why get depressed?maybe it's because, he thought that we were going there at indo’s to watch him and his much more pathetic band called “the choco” play/perform..grbe..ang kpal nman niya!feeling! Nicole Huang look-alike! after what he did..his rudeness..he deserves what happened to him..like what aphro said “you don’t know what you’re missing boy!” haha..benta yun..haayy..it's so hard to deal with special children..like winstone for example..anyway..i’ll end here..i don’t wanna say anything bad anymore..bka when I wake up I’ll be as dumb as him..*knock on wood* wag naman sana..that's one thing i don't wanna happen..

haayyy..i hope this feeling ends..i hate it..this is the song that best describes how i feel right now..from orange and lemons' second album "strike whilst the iron is hot"..it's a really sad song..

PABANGO NG YONG MATA Wag ka nang manangis,irog Sayang lamang ang luha mo May paggagamitan ka nyan Ako'y malapit nang mamatay At saka mo na diligin Ang libingan ko Ng pabango ng yong mga mata

Luha, kusa na lang dumadaloy Sa mga pagkakataon Nagpapaalalang tayo'y tao lamang

Pgsisisi, lagi na lang sa huli Sa mga pagkakataong Nakakalimot pagkat tayo'y tao lamang

Pilitin mang tumindig Upang ika'y mahagkan man lang ng mahigpit Kusang napapahandusay sa aking Malupit na papag Nabibilang ko ang sikat ng araw Parang ka'y bilis na ng ikot ng mundo Marahil ito na ang huling awit at hapdi Na ipadarama ko sa iyo..

First day of school’s soon to come..in my case, my classes are gonna start on june 14..well, of course I’m quite excited..can’t believe I’m already in college..parang kailan lang I was this “innocent” grade school student who knows nothing about what’s happening around me..all I knew was to play “patintero” or hide and seek with my playmates..but now..i’m this college student(pharmacy pa tlga yng knuha ko..haayy..wish me luck)..i think I’m not yet ready for all this..i feel so young to be in college..sabi nga ni Karen “we’re a 12 year old girl trapped in a 16 year old body”..but what could I do? Nand2 na ako..i’ve got to act as if I’m a matured lady now..but I’m scared..i don’t know what’s in store for me there in my new school(ust), in my new life..i mean is it gonna be good or not? oh well..i’ll just think of it in a much brighter way..yeah..meeting new friends is a good thing..but of course I won’t forget about my friends back in grade school and high school(kada,bstfriends,kalabitm8s,at sympre ang dormB)haayy….true..i’m excited to got to school again even though I know that projects, assignment and papers are waiting for me there..but I don’t want my summer to end this way..it’s pathetic..i wanna do something..something that would make this summer unforgettable..maybe..go to swim with my family of friends, or go to the beach and enjoy the view..the beautiful sunsets..or anything that would give meaning to this summer..it could be too late..or maybe it’s not too late for anything..i don’t know..i just hope I could do something naman..well anyway..let’s go back to school..here’s my schedule for the first sem..

MONDAY

7-9am-math(147)

9-10am-eng(147)

10-12pm-bot(147)

1-4pm-bot(FLRlab1)

TUESDAY

7-9am-PE

11-1pm-phar(212)

1-2'30pm-fil(212)

2'30-4pm-THY(212

WEDNESDAY

7-9am-math(147)

9-10am-eng(147)

10-11am-bot(147)

1-4pm-bot(FLRlab1)

THURSDAY

9-12pm-chem(lab7)

1-2'30pm-fil(212)

FRIDAY

8-9am-math(147)

9-10am-eng(147)

10-12pm-chem(147)

1-4pm-chem(lab7)

i feel a lot better today compared to the past few days..yeah..i still am confused about something..but at least i could already manage to smile..anyway..i'm already starting with my diet..this morning i just ate 3 spoonfuls of rice and a piece of steak..and of course i haven't eaten any junkfood..i find it hard cause i'm a person who really loves to eat..when i'm depressed or when i'm having a really big probelm, i try to forget it by eating..food is the only thing that makes me happy..but i've got no choice..kailangan eh..i'm gaining too much weight..oh god..i've gained 12 pounds in a year..just a year..from 105lbs last year to 117lbs this year..i can't believe it! i don't wanna be a fat pig like i usually am before(when i was in my 1st year of highschool) but it's so hard for me to stop myself from eating..well, i'm trying real hard..i just hope i survive a week without food..well..there's food but it's limited..but i'm really desperate..i need to lose weight..oh lord give me strength..haha..well anyway..change topic..i've already opened mcoy's message last night..thank god..i thought that i could never have a chance to see it because the stupid friendster is having a problem again..but fortunately..it opened this morning..it was just a simple message..he just told me that he would inform me when they're gonna be playing at indo's again..well..that's it..i'm contented..i'm relieved..and that's it for now..wla na akong msabi..ska my cousins are here..i've got to entertain them..until next time..ciao..

haayyy..something's bothering me these past few days..and i don't know what it is..di ko na tlga alam..true..i'm quite contented with my life now..i've got everything that i ever needed and wanted..i've got my friends whom i know would always be there for me no matter what happens..i've got my family(well..except for my dad of course..he's not around)who supports me in everything that i do and guides me through my life..and most of all i've got all the things that i need for my everyday life(in fact, more than i needed)like clothes(got a bunch of them), food(I eat at least 3x a day), shelter, education, and of course the other luxuries in life..oo nga..i’ve got it all..but still, I feel like something’s still missing..i feel so incomplete..but what’s missing? Is it a who or a what? I just don’t know..i feel so lonely and alone these past few days..these thoughts in my head..i can’t get rid of them..however hard I try to keep myself whole, I still end up falling apart and breaking into pieces..kahit anong gwin ko, ganun pa rin..haayy ewan..i just really need someone to at least make me smile..one who could make me feel complete..that’s all I need for now..honestly, I couldn’t think of anything to say right now..i feel so empty..i feel so lost..how I wish that I could get rid of this feeling..now..as in right now..i just wanna be happy..that’s all..i can’t believe it’s this hard to make yourself feel happy..oh well..i could do no more..would someone just please help me..i desperately need someone’s help..but who could help me with this problem? my parents?(I don’t think so..bad idea..)my friends? (Oh come on.. they’re busy with their own lives..they’ve got their own probelms) well..here I am standing alone in this dark, empty room..i know..nobody could understand me..i myself couldn’t understand what I’m really feeling..i just hope this would end soon..i just hope I could get over this..

another frustration i say..this morning when i woke up..i checked my mail and i saw that i have a new friendster message from mcoy..as in mcoy of orange and lemons..i was fuckin' excited that i opened it immediately..i mean who's not gonna be excited when you see that a vocalist from a well known/popular band has sent you a message?! so anyway..i clicked the "view message" so that i could check out what he has sent me..and so i waited..my hands were shaking, my palms were sweating..i can't believe that a vocalist has sent me(an ordinary folk) a message! and when the page was opened, i clicked at the message..but unfortunately..the stupid friendster was having another problem..i can't view the message..i was so pissed off cause all the while i was so excited to see the message until all of a sudden..i couldn't open it!! fuck! i hate this life! why does all this shit need to happen?! what the heck is wrong with this life?! kahapon pa to eh! yesterday, i was supposed to meet up with the band(orange and lemons) but as i said, it was cancelled because of the bad weather..just because of the stupid rain..everything was ruined..haayy nko..i just really hope that i could open the freakin' message tonight or tomorrow morning..but for now..all i could do is wait..that's the thing i always do..wait until my eyes turn all white..oh please..i just need some luck..for the past few days i've been so unlucky..i don't know what's wrong..is this karma? but why? i haven't done anything wrong..i've tried my best to be as kind as i could be to people..so i don't think it's karma..it's just bad luck..oh well..what could i do..as i said..i'll just wait..like i always do..

well..here i am again..i'm starting to be a blog junkie like i usually am before..i've got no choice cause there's really nothing to do for now..i've got no gimmicks, i've got no activities to attend to and most of all, i've got no love life to get myself busy with..oh well..that's life..but this morning.. i've decided to start getting on a diet..cause obviously i look like a walking siopao in all the pictures that we've taken..i'm dead serious..at paninindigan ko na to..ever since i left my swimming career last year, i started to grow bigger..i mean not vertically but horizontally..or in short, i've gained so much weight..believe me or not, its' true..i just realized..i need to get on a diet..so here i go..i'm gonna start by lessening my consume of rice..cause it definitely makes our tummy big..so i'm just gonna eat at least 3 spoonful of rice..and i guess that's enough..then, i'm gonna avoid eating junkfood(potato chips,pizza, and the like)cause we all know it's really unhealthy..and of course..i'm not gonna drink any softdrinks anymore cause it's not only unhealthy but it also gives me what they call "hyperacidity"..so i'll definitely get rid of that..well..that's it..i'll try to do that for a week and i'll see if i could survive..if not..then..i'll try to do some exercise..it's my last resort..cause i'm really desperate to get rid of my excess fats..haayyy..why is it so hard to stay slim?! i can't help myself from eating..i mean..who doesn't find it hard to stop eating?! it's my one and only happiness..why deprive myself of it? but i've got no choice..i have to..oh well..gud luck sa akin..but i'm really desperate..i wanna lose weight..i wanna stay slim..oh please..help me..haayy..anyway..until next time..i hope my plan will work..